Whether it's about diet, spending, politics, vacation spots, or tech, I’ve tried to convince my family to see things my way. I provide facts, examples, and data, yet they simply refuse to budge.
Here’s the thing: persuasion tactics often fall flat because people don’t want to be influenced. Wharton School Professor Jonah Berger calls this their ‘anti-persuasion system’ in his book The Catalyst: How to Change Anyone’s Mind.
People often deny or ignore your efforts to persuade them. Instead, they counter your suggestion. They don't stop until your argument becomes unpersuasive.
It’s like a mental tug-of-war until they stop listening.
So, if persuasion isn’t working, what will?
Berger suggests using creative thinking to get people to persuade themselves. Here are four tips:
1. Understand the Situation
We often focus our attention on our own goals, desired results, and the things we can do to persuade someone to change. We jump straight into action without understanding their perspective. This approach doesn’t work well.
Instead, understand why the other person resists change. Stay calm and open-minded. Listen with empathy and avoid assumptions. Build trust by paraphrasing their points in your own words. This shows you’re offering fresh perspectives.
It takes time to gain their trust and understand what they want, but doing so is crucial to getting over reluctance.
2. Give Choices
When you try to change someone’s opinion or behaviour, you explain how and why they should do it. You provide reasons for them to follow your advice.
But even after hearing you out, they may still disagree. They find reasons to challenge your view. The conversation stalls.
So instead of telling people what to do, give them options. This shifts their focus from resisting your ideas to choosing from the options you have given. It turns their attention from arguing to deciding.
They are likely to pick an option by the end of the conversation.
3. Ask Questions
Questions can be more effective than statements.
Much like offering a choice does, asking a question shifts the listener’s focus from arguing to answering. It helps people engage with your ideas rather than just disagreeing.
Questions also encourage buy-in. People are more likely to take action when their response reflects their own views.
Let's say you want your team to use a new time-tracking system. Rather than saying, This tool will improve our productivity, ask, How do you think better time tracking could help us manage our projects more efficiently? This question gets your team thinking about their own workflow and how the new tool could benefit them.
4. Point Out the Gap
People want their views and actions to match.
They feel uncomfortable when their beliefs and behaviours clash.
When you point out their actions don’t align with their beliefs, it creates mental conflict, or cognitive dissonance.
This awareness can motivate them to take action.
Changing opinions is tricky, but with some creative thinking, you might just make headway.
Give these tips a try and let me know how it goes!
Looking for Ways to ‘Turn the Tables’? Use Creative Thinking to Change Minds